Dorian: You were designed to bond with people. That’s what you were developed to do. To notice when they’re there. That also means you notice when they’re not there. That’s why you want to see her. That’s what you’re feeling.
Okay, Dorian’s face in this scene was heartbreaking because no matter how amazing his empathy processors are or how *close* to being a human he is, he will never be one. Instead of blood and bone and sinew, he has metal and oil and wires. He can be turned off like a light switch when he’s no longer useful (like he was 4 years ago). And no matter how much John treats Dorian like a real partner or even a friend (or more? I sail on this ship, yo.), it’s moments like this that Dorian is reminded of his place in this society and how discardable he is.
The play of emotion across his face in this scene was amazing. First, sad as he realizes all of the above. Second, disappointment in John for not *getting it* and not being any different.
Finally, resignation and resolve to help. If he can do one thing with his synthetic life - one thing to help someone remember who he is after all is said and done - it will be to help John see Dorian’s kind as more than amalgams of plastic, metal, and wires. He’ll help John see them as sentient beings worthy of respect.
And, that…maybe that…will make everything else not seem as bleak.
Thank you, brain twin. You’re right, I didn’t need my heart anymore and it’s been awhile since I sobbed over my keyboard.
May I add that I really like that John tried later in the episode when he asked if Dorian was okay in the car and didn’t badger him or try to make him feel bad when she was deactivated? I really liked that.